“Deadline Über Alles!” Software Engineering

After expressing my current frustrations with work to a friend who happens to be a software developer he shared with me this link to a blog posting titled Asshole Driven Development by Scott Berkun. The article provided five different kinds of tongue-in-cheek development methodologies currently employed by companies world-wide in their quest for really awful software. The comments to the article provided even more options and here is mine: “Deadline Über Alles! Software Engineering”.

You know you might be stuck in this type of development/engineering when you start receiving emails with lines like:

In the interest of delivering DeadlineBreaker on time, I think we should only be fixing things that are broken. The time for implementing best-practices has passed.

or

I’m trying to get the projects delivered. We are in QA and DeadlineBreaker has issues. I’m not looking for someone to blame – I’m just trying to identify how to move the project forward to meet our expectation of deliverables.

The emailer is really saying:

I don’t give a damn about niceties like quality code and design….I just want something out the door. Screw the best practices…we can fix that stuff later. Wait…didn’t you say something about design too? Isn’t that just something art dorks do?

Of course later never happens, a crappy product goes out the door, and your group ends up looking like a bunch of stooges who can’t program their way out of a paper bag.

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